Thursday, August 13, 2009

MRI was a bust. 4 valium still didnt stop shaking.  hafta come back while the Dr is there for total knockout. Im told them that , they didnt believe me.  Oh well I did learn to stay on top of my meds or I will be having a bad day!  Laid in bed til I decided  not to have a pitty party and get up and do something.  Went to lunch at Mac Grill cause I hadnt eaten much lately.  Lotsa meds make for a great weight loss plan. Should have done this instead of Jenny Craig. This is faster.  Averaging a pound a day.  Saw my crazy boys today and learned all the Monster trucks. they are growing so fast.  They wont be that interested in Nana that much longer.Off with school and friends...  birthday parties. Sports, they get so busy.    Im reading a book thats depressing me about Dystonia. Kipp says I have to work at the depression part taking over. I think thats why they gave me Prozac.  But I have to know whats ahead. I cant sit and wonder.  Kipp is having lunch with the head of Neurosurgery at ORMC tomorrow. he wants to create a team of experts. he's so funny. Mr take charge. Thats what men are good at.  I dont think he can accept the fact there's no cure. But it nice to have some one on the case when I get sick of hearing and dealing with it.  I found out 3 days before my 55th bday. Happy Birthday to me!  But I have been dealing with neck pain for 5 years so it was already there.  Surprise!  what is Dystonia? I never heard of it!  I get the craziest opinions on where I got it.  My  neck pillow...physical therapy , something I take like my thyroid meds.  etc. everyone's any expert except the Dr. who blew me off when I brought it up.  I googled and there it was!  so I found a Neuro and he  knew!  finally  Im not Crazy!!! I have to fight the feelings that my life is over . My life as I knew it is... Meanwhile life goes on.  I look at everyone now, going about their lives.   i just hope no one is looking at me!